Persona in "I go back to May 1937"

"I Go Back to May 1937" opening lines:



I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,

I see my father strolling out

under the ochre sandstone arch, the

red tiles glinting like bent

plates of blood behind his head, I

see my mother with a few light books at her hip

standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,

the wrought-iron gate still open behing her, its

sword-tips aglow in the May air,

....



The perspectives and tones of the persona in the first part of 'I Go Back to May 1937' manifest themselves in numerous ways. Her pain, regret, sober sense of foreboding and ways of distingishing her two parents can all be seen in the ten opening lines of the poem.



Firstly, she feels quite distanceds from the parents she observe. Of course it is highly unlikely anyway that she is really with her parents, watching them leave college, so a reasonable amount of distance is expected. However, the fact that she can only see them and not use any other sense and only refers to them in the third person in the opening lines show that she is keeping distance from her parents on purpose. Is she looking at a photograph? Does this distance hint that her family will become distressing or dysfunctional in the future? Maybe.



Secondly, she uses visual imagery to portray her father and mother in different lights but in describing them uses the same pattern of lines. She sees her father "strolling under the ochre sandstone arch", making her father sound like a confident young man, as sturdy and stubborn as the stone arch he is walking under. On the other hand she sees her mother with "a few light books at her hip" and "standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks". This visual description of her mother makes her seem like an easygoing lightweight woman who would carry easygoing lightweight books around with her. It also makes her look as fine, fragile and delicate as the fine, fragile and delicate as the pillar made of tiny bricks she stands next to. Although these two people are pictured in different lights, Olds uses the same pattern to describe them. She uses four lines to describe each parent; one line to describe the parents nature, one line to describe the parent's surrondings, and two lines to link this to some unusually violent metaphor. This is the first hint that the father and the mother are equal in some way, if not in their character than in what they did to the persona.

What exactly did they do to the persona, their daughter? The use of unusually violent imagery, such as "bent plates of blood behind his head" and "sword-tips aglow in the May air" give a hint. These visual metaphors and similies seem to connect her parents with violence in a deep, fundamental way. Although they might not seem violent, the seeds of violence are looming behind them (and, in fact, really are spacially behind the parents) and one day that violence might break out. Usually when one needs to create a dark sense of foreboding about something they put the most ominous phrases at the end of its description. Likewise "bent plates of blood" appears at the end of the description on the father and "sword-tips aglow" appears at the end of the description of the mother, highlighting the importance of these images. The persona includes these images because she feels they are important to her.

Despite the persona's dark foreshadowings and the pain that her parents would give her in the future, she plays a very passive, sober role in these ten lines. She never explicitly states her feelings and always begins sentences with "I see" highlighting her role in this recollection as a passive observer unable to change anything. And of course in reality she can't. This is a recollection. She can't change the past. Her only hope is to find a way to change the future, using this recollection to explore why her family became the way it is and making sure that doesn't happen to her kids and herself. If she can find out why her parents got twisted in this web of violence then she can also find a way to deal with her parents and get out of the web. So although she can't change the past she can use it to change herself, her parents and her future. This may be why the title, "I Go Back to May 1937" sounds so awkward; it was never meant to be published. It's a poem for herself, to help her learn about the dynamics of her family.

In conclusion, the persona in the first ten lines of "I Go Back to May 1937" exhibits a myriad of different qualities of emotions. Although she feels a certain amount of pain in the future, in the past it only becomes sober omens and a role as a distant observer. She view her father and mother in different ways, even though ultimately what each of them did to her will be the same. Finally, her present is stained with violence; violence that has spread through her mind into this day on May 1937, not only as a dark reminder of the years to come but also as a lesson that will help her find a solution to her twisted family and give her lessons that she will carry with her to the future.